It was brought to my attention recently that I am doing my kid some serious damage. Not for the reasons you might be thinking of, although plenty of people would have comments about those.
Not because she has two moms.
Not because she isn’t allowed to eat many foods with HFCS (one person in my life actually told me I am making her a weirdo because I won’t let her eat processed foods very often).
Not because we have chickens living illegally in our back yard (although I WAS told that this is giving her the idea that law breaking is OK).
Nope. It’s none of these things that will cause my child serious damage. (Thank the Lord, I was worried.)
Apparently, what is going to do the most damage is the fact that I have helped instill in her a belief in fairies and other magical creatures and ideas. I have convinced her that I can heal her boo-boos with magical spells. I keep a bottle of monster spray (lavender water) under the bathroom sink and I have a cool brown glass bottle full of healing potion (tea tree and lavender water) in a drawer. Black Hair does an amazing healing chant (imagine something between a voodoo chant & speaking in tongues all ending in a yelled “BE HEALED” in her best tent revival accent). I have often spent afternoons outside whiled away looking for garden fairies, building fairy houses and talking to her about which magical creatures ride dragonflies and who is brave enough to try to tame a bee.
An elf lives at our house for the entire month of December. His name is Scooter and he has close personal ties to Santa.
My oldest now tells anyone who will listen that her invisible friend (not imaginary, invisible. "She is REAL Mama, you just can’t see her.") is part girl ghost and part dinosaur. Her name is Dinoria and she sleeps in the attic. My girl tells everyone that she is a level 4-ghost hunter and plans to go to school to reach the highest level so that she can have her own ghost hunting team when she grows up.
Now here’s the thing people, it’s called IMAGINATION! Does she really believe that I can make her well by magic? No. She knows it took a trip to the hospital and 6 weeks in a cast to heal her broken arm. She knows it took emergency surgery and 2 weeks of quarantine and seriously yucky tasting antibiotics to get rid of MRSA. She knows hand washing is imperative.
Does she really believe that monster spray keeps the baddies away? Well, she used to, but now she knows not to talk to strangers, never to let people into our house without my permission, never eat candy given to her by people she doesn’t know.
She knows that healing potion is tea tree oil and lavender and she knows that Black Hair’s healing chant only works in conjunction with rest, proper nutrition and possibly antibiotics. It makes you feel better because it is attention given to you by someone who loves you very much and wants you to feel better.
If I’m not careful, she will soon have some ideas about the validity of the tooth fairy. So far, I have convinced her that the day shift tooth fairy had to come because the night shift fairy had a cold and that the money under her pillow magically appeared while she brushed her teeth one morning. Those were cutting it a little close…
Here’s the deal as far as I can tell-we only get to be children once. Soon enough we know that people do horrible things to each other in the name of politics, religion and power. Soon enough we realize that while fairies may not exist, evil sure does. Soon enough we hold a friend’s hand while she cries over rape, miscarriage, or the death of a loved one. Soon enough we see family members and friends devastated by addiction and inner demons. Soon enough we read horrible things in the newspaper or watch as politicians destroy one another in commercials. All of that crap comes soon enough.
Therefore, while my children are young, I will happily spin tales of fairies. I will listen to long pointless stories about the ghost girl dinosaur who lives in my attic. I will spray the four corners of a dark bedroom with monster stray, mist the pillow of a sleepless seven year old with sleep spray and laugh as I listen to a healing chant being performed over a child with a snotty nose and a sore throat. I will observe how happy an elf makes my daughter as he travels around our house at night and I will tell stories of witches who melt, bad guys who always get caught and couples who live happily ever after.
If I am ruining my children, so be it. I will do it with abandon.
Rainbows & Unicorns,